Sometimes potty training can go well and just when you think all is going to plan, your child says “no”! Resists or puts up barriers. Sometimes when you want to start, they are just not interested or willing to give it a go. This is potty training resistance. It can happen when you are just getting started or it can happen part way through the process.
If your child is too hard-headed to follow your instructions, you need to deal with the stubborn potty training. It’s still possible to potty train your little one even if it seems hopeless. Kids are easily bored when they have to sit still in one place. Don’t give up there are things to look for and tips that can help.

Is the Child Ready?
It’s the first thing that you need to ask yourself before starting potty training. The child will show some cues when he’s ready for this transition. Don’t let potty training resistance stop you from training your child. Look for these signs to know when the child is ready to learn potty training.
- When their diaper is dirty, your child will inform you.
- They will tell you when they need to go.
- The child’s diaper is still dry for two hours.
- Regular bowel movement.
- The diaper stays dry all night.
- Showing interest in toilet or underpants.
- Will take off the wet diapers since it makes them uncomfortable.
- Makes a face before he goes pooping or peeing.
- The child seems to be more independent.
- The child likes spending time alone.
Check the readiness of your child before doing potty training. If your child seems to be scared of the toilet, it means that he’s not ready for it yet. You may also notice that your child will wet his diaper at less than two-hour intervals. It means that it is better to wait until the child is ready.
Are There Reasons Why They Are Resisting?
Sometimes there are reasons why your child is resisting potty training. The child may feel embarrassed or maybe afraid that they will get in trouble if they did it wrong. They maybe scared of falling into the toilet or losing a part of themselves. Then there are those children who refuse to be toilet trained. They may hold back their bowel movements which can cause constipation or just wet themselves because they are too interested in what they are doing or the wet feeling doesn’t bother them.
Some children will only use the bathroom if their parents tell them to go or bring them there. If the child is healthy and more than 2 years old but not toilet trained after months of trying, it means that it’s potty training resistance.
In this case, you have to practice patience with your child. The child may delay his bowel movements or hold his pee until you come to the rescue. Give it some time and let your child have a sense of responsibility or try rewards as a motivator.
If you keep on reminding your child or lecture him too much about it, that can cause potty training resistance. Some children feel they are being punished for not cooperating which makes them more stubborn. It’s not going to work for a strong willed child so it is better to be more supportive. Praise your child when he uses the potty on his own to make him more confident.
Equate Potty Training with Independence
Toddlers like the feeling of being independent. That’s why teaching them how to use the potty can make them feel excited and scared at the same time. It’s a big leap since it’s their first time doing something by themselves. Your child needs to be physically and emotionally ready to be successful with their potty training. Remember it is a big deal for them and for you.
Physical Readiness
Not all children will be physically ready at the same time and with potty training it involves physical readiness and a certain level of maturity. In regards to physical readiness. Your child needs to recognize:
- Feeling the sensation when they need to go.
- Understanding what that sensation means for them.
- Muscle control to hold back or let it go.
Emotional Readiness
Overcoming their fears is an important part of the process. Children may be scared of the toilet because of the loud sound of the flush. They need to know that it will not cause them harm when they use the toilet.
- Understanding why they have to learn to use the toilet.
- Ability to follow instructions when teaching the child.
- The ability to try again and not give up when an accident happens
- With any learning it takes time. Very rarely does anyone master something on the first go.
Rewards and Incentives
Potty training resistance can be solved by giving the child rewards and incentives to get them over the line. Make sure to offer them something that they like or value. It helps to make a strong-willed child cooperate because of what’s in store for them. Most of the time, bribing your child with candies or chocolates will do the trick but if that’s not what you want to encourage, stickers, toys, screen time, outside play are all other good alternatives.
When the child is expecting a reward, he will learn faster since cooperation will be present. Aside from the rewards, praise your child when he was able to successfully use the potty. It will condition his mind to hold his pee and use the potty. It’s the best solution for stubborn children who don’t like following instructions.
Potty Training Regression
Learning new skills is not easy for children and even adults. They need some time to master it and can end up with potty training regression. It’s when a child that is already potty trained but ends up wetting himself again. Mistakes are part of learning so don’t worry about it.
When your child suddenly falls into potty training regression avoid getting angry and reassure your child that he can do it right the next time. Allow your child to gain control of his new skill. Accidents may happen several times but the child will be more determined to do it successfully with your help.
Explain the Process So They Know What to Expect
Children need to know the reason behind everything. It’s best to explain to them why they need to learn how to use the potty. Tell them the step-by-step procedure on how to do it so that they know what to do. Choose your words carefully when you explain the process to them so as to not confuse.
Avoid using negative words that will make them feel embarrassed. Assure them that it’s a natural process and everyone uses the toilet. Teach them about hygiene and wiping themselves after using the toilet. And it is a good time to remind children that they need to wash their hands afterwards.
Potty training resistance should not hinder you from teaching your child to use the toilet. It can be challenging to potty train a stubborn child compared to other kids. But with a lot of patience and perseverance, they will finally learn how to do it right.